my heart talking;

Friends with benefits.

I thought I was important to you, I was wrong. I thought you really cared for me, I was probably wrong again. I thought you could be a friend to me, I’ll let you do the guessing for this.

It’s partly my fault, I know all you wanted was .. that. & I couldn’t reject you, because I was willing to do anything to make you happy.. to make you stay.. to make you want me.

You showed signs of not wanting to let go.. yet not wanting to keep me. I thought there was hope.. In the end, I realised that all you wanted to do was to keep me there for your spare.. & If someone else walked into your life, you’ll drop me like I’m worthless.

Then why.. why, despite knowing all these.. I just can’t move on?

so what are we now?

What do I do when I’m left with no other choice but to let go… What do I do when all I can think about is you?

Officially over. I’m sick and tired of being played by you. You go on and have a nice life. You don’t deserve someone like me, someone you won’t even fight for.

Thank you for letting me know that you won’t be that person to fight for me.

At least i won’t be delusional to hope that we might actually have something in the future. I’m sad and disappointed that the two of us can’t be an us, but i’m contented with being friends. (:

I won’t say it’s okay because it’s not. I won’t say i’m not disappointed because i am. But i’ll be okay, maybe not today but eventually. 

Good news is, i’m perfectly fine already..

You’re giving me mixed signals again, but now i clearly know my way. I won’t even consider the directions you’re pointing me to.